Jake-Up Lines

by Jacob Dyck


Valentine’s Day is only a few days away, so if you act fast you should be able to find someone to go through the motions with before it arrives. In order to find that “special” someone I suppose you’ll feel inclined to dust off reliable old pick-up lines like “Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only 10 I see.” or “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.” Yes, those are empty words anyone with a functioning larynx can sound out when they feel the urge to make their parts squirt, but no emptier than “I do” and people fall for that shit all the time.

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