Spencer’s Cuddlin’ Corner

by Spencer Hicks

Here is an interesting fact: An estimated 2.7 million healthy shelter pets are not adopted each year. When animals are not given a safe, loving home they are killed, or worse… forced to play “Sandy” in local productions of Annie.

To raise awareness of the used pets in our area, Little Tiny Brain is going to profile some of the cuddly creatures available at the local shelter.

Lisa

This is Lisa! She is a 4 week old calico/lesbian mix, just waiting to be welcomed into your loving home! Lisa was found without tags in the women’s restroom of a Home Depot. She hasn’t had any shots because we don’t want Lisa’s offspring to have autism.

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This is Bean! Bean loves belly rubs and taking naps in the sun! Bean was brought to us after the death of its owner in a terrible dishwasher accident. Coincidentally, Bean is completely dishwasher safe, take him home and set your dishwasher to “awww.”

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This is Murphy! Murphy is a polar bear. He has already killed Bean and Lisa. Please, someone help us stop the bloodbath.

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This cuddly couple is Hall (left) and Oats (right), they have been inseparable since they traveled across the county together trying to get Michael J. Fox’s voice out of their head. It should be noted that Hall’s head is leaking some sort of catnip-like substance. The sheet for you furniture is not included in the adoption.

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This precious creature is Clooney. Don’t worry, you can’t overdose on “adorable.” Do you like snuggle biscuits? Then Clooney is your cat! How do you feel about a purr alarm clock? OK… listen, I’m going to be straight with ya, you’d be doing us a solid if you’ll take this cat off our hands.

Our friend Chekkie also scoured the pounds to find these lovable animals!

kitten

This is Peaches, a rambunctious little female tabby that came to us from an elderly couple who had mistakenly bought it as a birthday present for their granddaughter without realizing that they’ve been cut out of her life for a decade. Heartbroken, they came to us to find Peaches a forever home, full of the love and care she deserves. FULL DISCLOSURE: Peaches smells strongly of “old person”, even after countless baths. Perhaps she could go to a home where an elderly parent has been tucked away in a back bedroom to die without love or dignity despite being surrounded by their entire family, thereby masking Peaches’ death-stench. That would make us all smile. 🙂

puppy

Meet Kazoo, the latest addition to our “Adorable Floppy Ear Brigade” here at the One-Day Kill Shelter of Central Oklahoma. He’s a fun-loving little guy who’s been known to steal more snacks than hearts. That’s not an exaggeration: poor little Kazoo has a crippling addiction to sugar, due to a condition he was born with called Fetal Canine Snickers Syndrome. This occurs in puppies and human minorities when they are raised from birth on a steady diet of candy bars and dark carbonated beverages with high fructose content. FULL DISCLOSURE: due to his affliction with FCSS, Kazoo is a bit of a ticking time bomb. Doctors have told us that if given even .5oz of sugar, Kazoo will literally explode in a bloody fireball of sweet release from these mortal shackles.

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Say hi to a little fella we’ve come to call “Shreddy”, as he’s so far ripped to pieces three of our front desk assistants during his first day here. As you can see, he was brought in by his poor father, who was at the end of his rope, as well as the current lunar cycle. Through a series of terrifying growls, snorts, and slashing claws, we came to realize that his name was Robert Harrison, and that he spent his holiday vacation camping in the wilderness on the English moors. This turned out to be ill-advised, as he is now cursed to stalk the night during every full moon, preying on fat, dim-witted Oklahomans to satisfy his insatiable animal bloodlust. FULL DISCLOSURE: Shreddy has not been neutered, as he reverted back to his human form while on the operating table. His procedure has been postponed for one month.

Thanks for popping by Little Tiny Brain!

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